Battle for the sun

Change is the only constant in life and every change (even the positive one) is hard by definition, because alongside its every gain, there’s always a loss. And vice versa. What’s more, some of the changes are not our choices (nor consequences of such) and we have absolutely no control over them. And yet they emotionally affect us in the same way (or even more). Unexpected, unwanted, unfair or unannounced, they all need to be acknowledged and lived through anyway. Because all emotions are ought to be felt, even when they are unwanted and hurt like hell. Well, especially then.

Emotional pain is awful, yes, but it’s also very natural.

Right. So how does one soothes that pain?

Emotions are ought to be felt

Boys don’t cry and girls are hysterical: two notions we all grow up with that inevitably mess up our relationships with emotions. We subconsciously learn it’s immature, silly, childish or irrational to show emotions, but mature, strong and rational to suppress them. Emotions are commonly believed to stand in the way of reason: they blur the vision.

Don’t be so dramatic. Man up. Calm down. You’re overreacting. Be an adult about this.

Deep down I have always felt that it’s loads of crap. There is no such thing as “bad” emotion – all emotions are equally important, valid and needed. And contrary to popular belief, heart does not defy the reason – giving up on either leads to nothing but misery. We’ve all seen it, possibly even lived through some version of it. Those are the fattest lies in the adulthood book.

Bad timing

There is a lot of expressions I’m not a big fan of. I hate when people overuse words always and never, and don’t even get me started on the good old forever. My most recent enemy in vocabulary is bad timing. Which, like any other expression I grew to resent, I tend to overuse myself.

It’s such a bad timing for this, eh?

Transactions and investments

My friend once told me I’m cynical and cold, because I said that, to me, every relation is like a transaction. An investment you choose to make, just the currency is different than money.

To be fair, when I first thought about relationships in such a pragmatic way, it also took me aback. Transactions? Investments? How can anyone say that about human feelings and emotions?! And wasn’t I supposed to be a hopeless romantic? All dreamy and idealistic?

But the more I thought about it, the more clear it became. Believe it or not, one does not exclude the other, even though we’re taught to believe that’s the case: you can be a hopeless romantic who simultaneously is a cynical, pragmatic bitch. Hello, yes, that’s me.