Late Bloomer

Once in a while I like to look through my old pictures. Of which, as an amateur photographer, I have a real abundance. It’s one of my main aids in the battle against darker times. Works wonders when crippling doubts are driving me mad. They put things in perspective.

I used to think I’ve done everything in my life either wrong or way too late. To be totally honest, some part of me is still wrestling with that thought.

I’m scared. And so what?

Nobody likes to admit they’re scared or afraid – I definitely don’t. It shows weakness, something everyone prefers to hide deep within. Strength, independence, fearlessness, bravery, success, that’s what’s selling best, that’s what everyone wants to talk about, that’s what you’re taught to appreciate. Fear and failure are to be avoided. Sometimes at all costs. Silenced, forgotten, ignored.

But they shouldn’t be. And that’s exactly why I’m writing here, now.

Because, over the past few years, I have learnt to appreciate both fear and failure.

Yeah, it’s still shit, it’s still awfully hard to deal with, I still don’t like it (who does?), but I do appreciate it. As Yoda says: the greatest teacher, failure is. And he’s right. As ever.