Self-awareness is the key

A while back, one of my best friends confessed that over the years I’ve become his inspiration and he hopes to arrive where I am now (mentally) one day. An older friend of mine once told me it fascinates him how well developed my radar for bullshitting seems to be. My flatmate thinks I got my shit together and my then-friend now-partner willingly admits that what drew him in was how sure of my own decisions and opinions I seemed to be. And even though being complemented like this still makes me uncomfortable, a part of me nods in agreement: yes, knowing yourself may be tough as fuck at times, but it does pay off.

It all boils down to self-awareness.

Don’t fear the awkward

It was a blowy yet sunny Autumn day, the tide was low and I enjoyed the walk almost as much as the conversation itself. To have someone you can confront and discuss your inner quandaries with, is a real blessing. That day we were wondering what makes us hide things, not only from the others, but also from ourselves. Fear, of course. We want to protect ourselves from pain, excessive effort, other people’s unpredictable reactions and judgements. And so, we often choose not to share. To avoid awkwardness and embarrassment.

We shouldn’t. We should embrace it. Celebrate it even.

Don’t kid yourself

When I moved to Scotland the second time round, a lot of things became apparent to me. One of the biggest realisations was that my best teacher was so damn right: I am a late bloomer. I need more time, but there’s nothing wrong with that. It really doesn’t matter how fast you go. It’s all about the journey, “the getting there” bit. Happiness does not sit at the top of the mountain you want to climb. Often some of the best views are on the way up. Or down. Or around. Or sideways.

Watch out, it’s going to get a wee bit philosophical here.