Know what you don’t want

I don’t have regrets.

The closest I have ever been to regretting anything, was my 1-year long weekend diploma in editing (back in Poland) which I paid for myself (spending all my savings) and which I passionately hated. The entirety of it, to the point that I actually repressed the whole thing. It was one of the worst academic experiences I have ever had. But still, from perspective, I wouldn’t say I regret it. You bet I could have spent that amount of money on a trip to Australia, which was my big dream back then. But my ultimate lesson here is that if I didn’t do this stupid diploma, I would never know – not for sure at least – that becoming an editor is not a feasible option for me. And I clearly did think so beforehand. If there really was anything “worth” regretting, it would be putting up with this hateful bullshit to the very end, even though I knew I’m never going to go anywhere near editing ever again. Instead of listening to myself, I let other people’s voices convince me that it “may become useful later”. Well, it didn’t.

But this was Ania from a lifetime ago, with so little trust in herself, and with all those big, life-altering lessons still ahead of her – I’d cut her some slack. She did best she could.